Changes

by Barbara Sher

She, penned in by the family dinner table,
resented the daily 6 o’clock dinner hour
Why can’t she follow her own stomach?
Why can’t she lead her own life?
She wished for a change
And Change happened
in a huge city, at a university that was peopled with exotic, accented Easterners. She felt unsure of her place with these foreigners to her Midwest suburban upbringing.
She hoped for the stability of familiarity
and stability happened
as she forged a familiar gang—her gang—and the conventions, the rules, were regular and known
and confining and she asked,
"Let me experience something brand new and ..... forbidden."
And forbidden happened.

The hidden, heady world of sensuality opened and it was good. It was delicious. And it was scary. How do you know who the good guys are without a scorecard? Muddling along with the Teacher of Painful Experiences, she longed for clear instructions.
And instruction happened
in the form of someone older who took her hand and was gentle to her heart and led her in the direction of graduate education and the discovery of a profession that suited her to a T.
She learned to relax in the life of feeling capably employed with purpose and the certainty of a predictable future.
Then she heard about a possible adventure that had never occurred to her before, and before she even had time to ask, she led herself into the exciting changes of travel.

On the road, in a pumpkin-colored two-seater convertible, she entered countries whose names thrilled her imagination, Marakesh, Istanbul, Tunisia. She said hello to strangers and goodbye to new friends. The world of complete freedom with no obligations, no job to report to, no exams to study for, was hers. And she traveled and traveled until one day, on the top of Mt. Olympus, in hearing distance of former Greek gods, she began to long for a home of her own.
And the home happened.

She and her new man built it themselves and filled it with love and beautiful daughters. And it was beyond good. She hadn’t known to even dream this big and the dream was hers. And she stayed, content with the minor changes in the chords that happened daily, orchestrating occasional larger excitements and always being exceptionally glad for the increasing familiarity and comfort of just-rightness.
Then, it ended. Seemingly overnight, the daughters had grown and left, the adored mate had gotten fat and content to de-evolve. "It’s over?" She railed. "I want more."
And more happened.

New possibilities came to light and with it the sudden death of the old. Her mate. Her love.
The change was too enormous, too catastrophic, too nightmarish to absorb all at once. When she slowly found her feet a year later, they had returned her to a previous family paradise, a tropical island she loved. And she wanted a calm, stable life in this place.
And a calm, stable, lovely life happened,
but she wasn’t fooled.

She knew change would happen and she would seek it.
She knew stability would happen and she would seek it.
She just wanted to remember one thing

All of it was good.

Barbara Sher, M.A.,O.T.R, is the author of six books on games to play with children and does workshops all over the world. Her website is barbarashergames.com and she can be reached at Barbara.sher@gmail.com.