S-U-P-P-O-R-T

by Drina Turner

When I first encountered a Women’s Success Team, I wasn’t even sure how to spell success, and I certainly didn’t know what it felt like.

That was all about to change.

A friend urged me to attend a seminar by Barbara Sher, the inventor of Women’s Success Teams. A former career counselor, Barbara had witnessed how people could get what they wanted from life when they worked together

At the seminar I attended in Los Angeles, at least a hundred women committed to several weeks of guided exercises by Barbara and certified team leaders. We graduated with a team that would continue to meet, and use the newfound techniques we’d learned to obtain our goals. Fortunately for me, the team I had joined remained intact for several years.

In my team, I experienced real support for the first time. My Success Team taught me what others seemed to know intuitively. I learned that success is not completely random or the same for everyone.

Each of us had unique dreams. One woman, employed as a banquet waiter, wanted to learn how to fly. Another woman wanted to be a visual artist.

A team meant not being alone with our dreams. Rather, each of us walked with people who believed in us. The team forum allowed us to openly and honestly acknowledge what was dear to our hearts. It provided the helping hands needed to manifest our goal.

We took turns meeting at each other’s homes week after week. There were intense disagreements, kudos, and tears.

It was a truly amazing experience for me. I had never had a group of complete strangers willing to help me get what I wanted. And I didn’t know how much help I could be to someone until I was called upon. The dynamic of support became habit forming.

Admitting I was a writer and having a group encourage me was a heady experience. I achieved goals formerly beyond my reach and some I had never aspired to do. Everyday life became a markedly different experience for me.

I got a "dream job" in the travel industry. I visited Sydney and Paris and Mexico and China.

I met other writers, and I began performing my prose poetry at various venues throughout the city.

I achieved all of those goals by using the Success Team tools. My three favorite tools are: 1. Setting the timer, 2. Choosing a reward, and 3. Complaining.

Setting the Timer was one of my favorites because I was frequently overwhelmed with too much to do and not enough time to do it, or plenty of time but no desire. My feelings of resistance and dread slowly diminished as the timer began. No matter how difficult the chore, I knew I could achieve it, if only for a pre-arranged agreement with myself to do the task for 15 minutes.

Choosing a Reward was one of my favorite tools because I decided what reward I would get for following through. I decided I would either enjoy a coffee at my favorite place, rent a movie, or go to a gallery.

Using those two tools together worked for me. After I got started with 15 minutes of doing the chore, I usually wanted to do more, so I did, AND I enjoyed my reward afterward.

Complaining was one of my favorites because pursuing goals were daunting, and usually required diligence. But after I complained to my team, I felt better. Complaining brought about the opportunity to be recognized for my hard work. Often after a long, heartfelt rant, the team would applaud me, and offer their perspectives and strategies. I was refreshed because I was acknowledged.

Taking my tools with me, I eventually relocated to Seattle—my "perfect environment."

When Barbara Sher came to Seattle in 2001, I leapt at the chance to see her. Rejuvenated, I joined a co-ed team here. During my time with the Seattle team, I had two articles published. I began collaboration on a novel. I started a writer’s support group, and I found Seattle Writergrrls.

By the way, the banquet waiter did get her pilot’s license before moving into carpentry, and she is now working in special effects for Hollywood movies.

The visual artist will show her paintings this summer at an art museum in Sante Fe.

Few, if any, people succeed in a vacuum. No matter how big or small your dream or goal, it’s in your best interest to seek others who understand and encourage you. If support can’t be found, frequently it can be created.

Drina Turner is a struggling freelance writer who is very happy to have found Seattle Writergrrls.