Creative

After Midnight at the Winkels': A Radio Skit

Sound Effects: Toilet flush.

Sound Effects: Toilet running.
Sound Effects: Lightswitch click.
Sound Effects: Barefeet padding down the hall.
Sound Effects: Rustling sheets.

Sound Effects: Toilet running. (Continuous.)

Marty: (deep sigh. muttering.)
Mmf din'nt jig de hendehl.

Helen: Are you talking in your sleep?

Marty: (still muttering.)
Yoo did'n jigeh de hendehl.

Helen: What are you dreaming about? Hmmm, Marty?

Marty: (almost intelligible.)
Jig-gel de hand-el.

Helen: Oh a sexy dream. Are you having a sexy dream, Marty?

Marty: (some effort expended to enunciate.)
Just jiggle the handle, Helen.

Helen: What's that, Lover? You talk so cute in your sleep, just like a teddy bear.

Marty: (annoyed. almost awake.)
The goddam toilet is running.

Helen: (yawns.)
Shhhh, teddy, quiet now, kitty meow meow wants to go sleepy-weep.

Marty: (awake. annoyed.)
Is it so hard to jig a handle?

Helen: (very sleepy.)
Marty, I'm very tired. Maybe tomorrow.

Marty: (shouts.)
Helen!

Helen: (shrieks.)
What! What's a matter?

Marty: (with exaggerated clarity.)
The toilet is running.

Helen: So call the fire department!
What's wrong with you?
I was sleeping.

By Annie Fanning.
Annie Fanning is a founding member of the Menthol Radio™ response team. She hopes to own her own chocolate poodle someday.